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Mostly you come across people who hate you at your back and some times in front of you too and they keep on irritating you. I was reading 7 Habbits of Highly Efficient People and I came across this quote,

"Treat a man as he is and he will remain as he is. Treat a man as he can and should be and he will become as he can and should be."

In the light of this quote, can anyone explain me how to deal with such people? I actually don't get what the author meant here.

Thanks in advance.

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closed as off topic by Adam Wuerl Aug 23 '11 at 21:03

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Hi! Welcome to the site. I'm sorry that I had to close your question. This is really a question about interpersonal relationships and not personal productivity, even though the quote is from a book ostensibly on topic. Furthermore, as worded I don't think it's a good fit for a Q&A-type SE site as it's subjective and likely to lead to extended discussion rather than a cohesive stand-alone answer. –  Adam Wuerl Aug 23 '11 at 21:08
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1 Answer

up vote 4 down vote accepted

Depends on what you think these people "can and should" be like, I suppose.

If you think they should like you instead of hating you, then in light of that quote you should treat the same way you would treat someone who likes you, i.e. be nice to them and pretend you're not noticing the hate. Though in my personal opinion some of them may just find that annoying.

If you think they should just stop bothering you or talking to others about you, treat them as if they aren't doing those things, i.e. ignore the hate and don't interact with them unless you have a reason. That's what I would do anyway - why spend time thinking about what people are doing behind your back? (Of course, this may lead to other people believing the things they say, and so on, so may not be the best solution either, but it is the easiest one. ;) )

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Won't I look weird caring for people who hate me :p ? –  Fahad Uddin Aug 24 '11 at 10:03
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It's a way to influence them. You are forcing on them a frame that the two of you are friends. It's a different matter whether it looks weird or not. –  siamii Aug 24 '11 at 21:58
    
Yes, it'll look weird. I'm not saying it won't, I'm not even saying it's the best idea, just explaining what the quote you gave would imply when applied to that situation. –  weronika Aug 24 '11 at 22:14
    
@weronika: Thanks for the answer :) –  Fahad Uddin Oct 7 '11 at 17:04
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