I try to achieve more but I couldn't do anything,I feel like I am cursed and helpless.
When I am free I always think of studying and I do planning for my future
Because of my studying goals I couldn't take part in any social activity and I am really socially awkward.
When I am studying for 5 minutes my mind gets bored,feels loneliness(I can't describe in words) so I take a break watch some cinema clips to shake the mindset then I start studying for sometime then after sometime like in 5 minutes the same cycle repeats ?
Because of this I am ineffectively studying and in work also it reflects and I couldn't find enough time to be socially active and my subconscious doesn't seem to worry about it while conscious mind worry about it.
I plan to sleep at 10 and wake up at 5 'o' clock daily but I am waking up at 8'o' clock only and sleeping at 2 only even though I go to bed at 10.
Because of this I've got a sleepy face
I think I am emotionally trapped inside and I have a negative mindset but I couldn't shake it,When people see me they don't respect me I don't know what makes them behave this way(probably my clothing style)!
Because of this I become people pleaser then my self-esteem,confidence and willpower are so low.
I don't know how to mingle with others and I am really bad at telling jokes even the best jokes become the worst jokes if i deliver it !
I have heard so many advices,tips But I couldn't do it continuously,I leave if after sometime may be I've got comfortable of being poor guy.
I have asked feedback about me from my colleagues and college mates and those are Knowledgable person,hard worker,good man,poor guy,absent minded,lazy boy,poor dressing sense,double minded,So slow not being fast enough,not interactive and hyper sensitive,not cool,obsessed with something,not so entertaining.
Because of all these I couldn't move forward in my software occupation and my life seems like deserted.
So how to overcome all this problem and have a proper mindset for being productive and happy ?
Note: From this don't think I don't worry about anything I do have anxiety,depression about my failures and being a loser.I have studied so many personality dev articles but nothing seems to be helpful to me
Thanks in advance ! Any helpful suggestions are welcome !
I hope this question in this site becomes a turning point in my life.