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I am not sure how common it might be?

Owner of my company wants to make a software and copy a similar product for about 90 %.

And get it done by 15th of next month.

I am only guy who will be doing programming. A consultant comes in the company twice a week to get me understand the flow. Also in between work,I may get other project's client call .If there is a problem,then it must be solved keeping my current work aside. I started working on this project from starting this month, I hardly have completed 10-15 % of work. I haven't understood entire flow. Also during work, I always get distracted by thoughts of humiliation,abuse and blame for firing other programmers done on me by owner. I am not able to manage myself.

Confused between three feeling

1)Just keep focus on work:- Keep focus on work. If I am facing this focus problem in this company. Then I wont be able to sustain in other company. I am convincing myself that this is my last project and complete it asap and leave and search for job.

2)Humiliation,Abuse and Blame done in past:- In past,I have done some silly mistakes for which I was humiliated. I didn't handover some work to my junior and I have not taught them programming properly so company's owner fired one junior . Although through owner's wife talking to my manager, I get to know due to shortage/stopage of funds, we are firing the some people including that junior for which i was blamed.Later after three month I got to know about one opening and helped him recruit there.He later on thanked me for that. But still I dont know why I feel guilty.
I am not able to concentrate.

3)Sometime search New Jobs:- When I think of these, I dont know I will sustain or not in new job.Or whether I am coward to resign these job. I have complete project some of my own without any support. What if funds is stopped by stakeholder,I might be forced to resign or any junior . I dont know what to do?

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I'm not sure what question related to personal productivity is being asked here. Can you edit and clarify? Much of the text as it stands right now looks like something that would be a better fit at workplace.stackexchange.com –  Dennis S. Aug 25 at 13:31

2 Answers 2

You say that your boss want you to complete this project, and you still get distracted with other work. With the number you gave so far it looks like the deadline you gave will not work out.

I don't know if you warned your boss about this (maybe you did not out of fear), but in my opinion he needs to know now. It seems not to bee uncommon for developers to get talked into impossible schedule, I don't know it this was the case here.

About your feelings of guilt

I think you don't have to feel guilty about the junior dev. If he was fired because of an error you made, this was not the right decision by your boss (= not your fault). You helped him land a new job, which is nice of you. You made an error, and you helped fix it (by help the other guy). If you also learned from this mistake I think there is nothing you need to worry about.

A new job

I don't know if you talk about management with your schedule pressure + distractions, but if they know about it and do nothing about it I would seriously look for a new job. But this would mean that you have to tell your boss first how the thing to do is not possible.

I would recommend to create a real world estimate when you can complete the current project. Also give conditions that have to apply for that estimate (e.g. how many hours per week you can work max. on other stuff, or what tools you need).

If your boss responds unreasonably to that kind of planning, look for a new job.

IMO a good book on scheduling software development and how to avoid common pitfalls is Rapid Development. Maybe you find some useful information there that you can use in your next projects. My best wishes to you!

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Owner himself is a egoistic kind of person.If I will talk to him,he will right now talk sweetly .He will understand everything and might say Yes.He also sometimes say "You ".But definitely after 2-3 days,he will be get angry over me and start showing frustration.He has heavy fluctuation in his mood and emotions.But from last two days,I am still not able to focus on work, getting distracted and angry by past humiliation and abuse.Sometimes, I am even talking to myself. –  Louis banderas Aug 24 at 15:54

You are working for an abusive boss and from your symptoms, you appear to be heading for a mental breakdown.

I do not know where you live and what the software job market is like there and your particular job prospects and skills. If I were you, I would seriously consider resigning.

Also consider moving to another city where there are more jobs available. These days with internet job boards and recruiters in distant cities who are a phone call or email away, you can stay at home living on your savings, get a job offer, then move to the new place.

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