Life-changing fiction/non-fiction for a-holes [closed]

Question

My younger brother is an asshole. I love him and we have a pretty good relationship, but he's an asshole.

He's doesn't break the law and he doesn't harm people physically but he is cheap, ungracious, abrasive, short-tempered, and skilled at rationalizing away the double-standards he lives.

He's in his early twenties now and I believe his negative qualities are having a severely negative impact on his career, his friendships, his family relationships, and probably his love-life.

As I guess is common in cases like this - he wasn't always this way. As a little kid, he always wanted to be "good". Something went wrong and now he appears to pride himself on being a nuisance. I do worry that while he doesn't break laws, if he were to get caught in a legally ambiguous situation with the wrong people he'd end up on the wrong side of this razor he dances along. He skips out on financial responsibilities if he can get away with it.

He's very intelligent and quick-witted. He is very funny when the atmosphere will allow it. His intelligence is a bit of a nasty defense mechanism as well - and nobody seems to have a strong-enough wit themselves to break through it.

He would be unwilling to speak to a therapist if it cost him anything. I can't afford to pay for one for him. But I want to help him because he doesn't seem to be growing out of it himself fast enough to avoid serious life consequences.

So the question is:

Are there popular fiction or non-fiction secular books/movies/etc that a person like my brother would relate to, but which might help someone like him get on a better track? I'm not sure what I'm hoping for, but I figure he's not unique and perhaps someone will recognize this character in him and know what to do.

(I can be major asshole too - there's probably a family resemblance. But he's got it the worst.)

Answer 1

To me it sounds as though he is bored. I find that a lot of very intelligent people are naturally mischievous and if they have nothing to occupy their brain, they can become quite annoying to those around them. There is an entire world of learning that many people simply are never exposed to. Their main interaction with education is traditional schooling, which just bores them even further. They turn off; learning is for nerds and it is a waste of time!

That said, you can't come up with something for him to learn – he has to find his own path. The most you can do is helping him find a good role model, someone really interesting that he can look up to and get him interested in using his brain. I don't think there is anyone better at this than Richard Feynman. He has an autobiography (as well as many videos on youtube) where he talks about his path, how he thinks and all of the mischevious scenarios he got himself into. He has such a different way of thinking and his love for learning is infectious. I can't imagine anyone listening to Feynman talk and not fall in love with learning. The book is Surely You're Joking, Mr Feynman.