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What is the best way to communicate with others such that they will make strides to consider alternative viewpoints? I feel this would help to reduce anger in groups.

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I think you'll need to rethink this question, as it has 3 different questions, none of which are about productivity. Your initial statement is your opinion, but doesn't have anything to support it. I have tried to edit it to a useful question for the site. – Rory Alsop♦ Sep 1 '12 at 16:15
@RoryAlsop Thanks for the edit. – Wolfpack'08 Sep 2 '12 at 6:10
While subjective, I feel that it is an important assertion that peoples productivity improves when they find remorse. People without remorse are hopelessly trapped at the lowest levels of society. There have been studies showing sharp increases in anti-social behavior as peoples' position in society go down. They are correlative, and there are many outliers. I am familiar with some additional research among prison populations and clinical populations but none among other populations. I do not have a research pallet, though; so, the methods cannot be examined thoroughly. I'll search for'm – Wolfpack'08 Sep 2 '12 at 6:19
You may want to raise that as a question over on skeptics.SE, as I think there is also evidence for individuals with no remorse in positions of great power... – Rory Alsop♦ Sep 2 '12 at 9:49

2 Answers

up vote 2 down vote

How to Win Friends and Influence People has some good ideas:

Fundamental Techniques in Handling People

  1. Don't criticize, condemn, or complain.
  2. Give honest and sincere appreciation.
  3. Arouse in the other person an eager want.

Six Ways to Make People Like You

  1. Become genuinely interested in other people.
  2. Smile.
  3. Remember that a person's name is, to that person, the sweetest and most important sound in any language.
  4. Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves.
  5. Talk in terms of the other person's interest.
  6. Make the other person feel important – and do it sincerely.

Twelve Ways to Win People to Your Way of Thinking

  1. The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it.
  2. Show respect for the other person's opinions. Never say "You're Wrong."
  3. If you're wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically.
  4. Begin in a friendly way.
  5. Start with questions to which the other person will answer yes.
  6. Let the other person do a great deal of the talking.
  7. Let the other person feel the idea is his or hers.
  8. Try honestly to see things from the other person's point of view.
  9. Be sympathetic with the other person's ideas and desires.
  10. Appeal to the nobler motives.
  11. Dramatize your ideas.
  12. Throw down a challenge.

Be a Leader: How to Change People Without Giving Offense or Arousing Resentment

  1. Begin with praise and honest appreciation.
  2. Call attention to people's mistakes indirectly.
  3. Talk about your own mistakes before criticizing the other person.
  4. Ask questions instead of giving direct orders.
  5. Let the other person save face.
  6. Praise every improvement.
  7. Give the other person a fine reputation to live up to.
  8. Use encouragement. Make the fault seem easy to correct.
  9. Make the other person happy about doing what you suggest.

Emotional Intelligence can be something useful to study here as well.

Change or Die would be a book recommendation to consider if we are looking more at aiming at someone's behavior and the challenges associated with that. The book has multiple case studies that cover a lot of different areas including criminals, auto workers, and heart patients. There is a point about "Recasting one's story" that is similar to your remorse point though there can be the "acting as if" that may be done to get the reframing first that then leads to one wanting to make amends.

The Thomas-Kilmann Model would be a conflict resolution tool that may be useful to consider at times. Which resolution strategies do you use regularly? Which do you understand well enough to apply in various situations?

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Thanks. I'm kind of hard up against the author of How to Win Friends and Influence People because I don't think he's ever written a book, or even a passage, based on solid research, or anything other than his own opinion.... It's easy to discredit many of the points, and actually show that they will make situations worse, rather than better, on multiple levels. It's nice to have the other resources, to look into, and I appreciate the clean formatting, though. So, thank you very much for your response. – Wolfpack'08 Sep 15 '12 at 1:41
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Do you have research to discredit the points? While you could make examples where they don't work, one could just as easily go the other way. Stephen Covey's point on "Seek first to understand, then be understood" would also be something to consider here. – JB King Sep 15 '12 at 2:18
I don't have a research pallet specifically for that, but I've been volunteering as a hand searcher for four years. There's a lot out there to discredit individual points. If you would like to discuss specific things, we should go to chat. I think Covey makes a good point. I also recently asked about why people become frustrated when they are forced to question their beliefs. Someone told me it was because it causes them to challenge the sources of the beliefs. He'd taken that info from A Course in Miracles. Anyway, I agree with some of the points in How to Win Friends.... :) – Wolfpack'08 Sep 15 '12 at 5:56
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The only way to do this is through love. That is, propose a different perspective and a loving way. Be humble, show humility and respect others regardless of who they are. I learned this from the Bible, Jesus as the ultimate example. Love is not a feeling we have; it's a decision to treat people the way Jesus would treat them.

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Interesting response. I often try just revealing a prototype or a brief overview of my ideas and then only continue when I feel someone is willing to have a discourse with me in its regard. I often see people fighting, working as an anger management counselor, and I notice that after the arguments, among unsuccessful members, nobodies opinion is even slightly changed by discourse. So, I want to find a way to guide people to at least consider and try to understand alternative perspectives or new branches. – Wolfpack'08 Sep 2 '12 at 6:13

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