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Of course there are plenty of reason to be irritate in home or office environment. I just want to control this.

How do you manage this situation?

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6 Answers

Meditate and think on this... Why get angry if you can do something about what is making you angry? If you can do something about it, then do it! Also... why get angry about something you can do nothing about? If you cannot control the outcome / event, what is the point in getting angry about it?

Do some looking in to buddhism for additional thoughts on this topic.

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+1 buddhism is not a religion but a cool and peaceful lifestyle –  Zaffy Sep 18 '12 at 14:13
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Some things that may help:

  • Deep breaths and deep breathing
  • Taking a walk
  • Focusing on tasks rather than emotions
  • Counting in your head
  • Remove yourself from contentious situations
  • Reflection on the triviality of most anger situations
  • Reflection on suffering of others and my good fortune
  • Buddhism and/or meditation
  • Focus on patience to hear others out
  • Compliment good parts before criticizing bad parts.
  • Reflect on topics first than seek discussion afterwards.
  • Practice discussion without criticism ('I would try' vs 'that's a bad approach')

Your Milage May Vary but these are some ideas to try.

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- Have enough sleep to avoid being irritated. - Do something you like once a day to be happy, because you won't get frustrated because of minor situations. –  L01man Sep 29 '12 at 19:10
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Emotional Intelligence would be a suggested study area around this as there are a few pieces to this. How aware are you of your current emotions? How well do you predict future events that may change this state? This would be a starting point aside from the managing side where it may be useful to consider what memories may change your emotional state, what activities improve your mood, etc.

I tend to use Cognitive Behavior Therapy as a way to deal with my thought processes and try to improve them over time. "Change or Die" also has ideas on how to deal with the world that indirectly tie to anger as one of the underlying issues that people manage in unhealthy ways at times. Finding someone that can instill hope can be a useful tool to have in the toolbox for dealing with some of this.

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Being angry can be very useful. In any case it clearly shows that something is wrong. The problem with anger is that it motivates us to behaviours that are rarely optimal at home or in the office environment. Still it's useful again that it also gives motivation to do something when something is wrong, we should use this source of energy wisely.

Anger usually looks for self-justification - in other words when we are angry we tend to make the mistake that we only consider the facts that support out anger and neglect the facts that would tell us to change our minds. So the ways of actions that come to our minds while we are angry are often wrong choices.

I believe what we need to do when we are angry is to realise that we are angry; and to understand why we are angry. Honestly explaining someone or putting down on paper for ourselves why exactly we are angry can help a lot understanding ourselves. Speaking from our subjective point of view ('my expectation is that he' instead of 'he should') may help seeing clearly. These may already reduce our anger.

When we calm down to the level that we can think clearly we can find good solutions. It helps if we team up with others to work out a good solution and to realise them. By good solution I personally mean a solution that is spiritually uplifting for all parties, you may use your own definition of good here.

It's often best no to take much action and not to speak much when we are angry, but to prepare ourselves to give the right answer if a similar situation occurs in the future. This way we spend the energy given by our anger to work out a solution and improve ourselves.

While I believe it is good to be prepared for future irritations, I believe it's not good practice to nurture our anger after we decided how to act next time, because nurturing anger for a longer period can have detrimental effects on us.

Controlling anger is a learning process, it's not easy. (This is only my current understanding of anger and I hope to see more clearly in the future.) But you can think about every irritation as an opportunity to improve yourself.

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The best advice I've been given that works for me is to be a cloud. Anything projected at you just passes right through you allowing you to remain unaffected until you choose to respond or take action.

This is a good tactic when dealing with angry customers or a frustrated boss or colleague. Your ability to let their wrath, pettiness or unjust remarks go right through you will hopefully leave you (and them) calmer to actually deal with the issue instead of the emotions associated with it. Best of luck!

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Whenever you feel irritated or angry:

  1. Do those things which you make feel happy.
  2. Counting 1 to 10 or 20. It will cool your anger.
  3. Talking and spending time with your someone special. With his/her you feel always happy and you will never want to hurt him/her.
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