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This has been one of my biggest flaw since my childhood. I usually keep worrying about small issues, which brings me into lots of tension, but actually nothing happens. I keep on worrying about what is going to happen and all. It's future what I see forgetting all about present. But if you see happens nothing but when even small issues occur I would start thinking and thinking. Even at home. And if I get tensed, it feels as if the whole world is an enemy to me. The issue is I don't live in the present, but I keep on worrying about future. It feels as if I am in some race and I am just running and running. Any help will be much appreciated. Thanks in advance.

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6 Answers 6

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Let me share my story. I also had a very high level of anxiety and thought a lot about things in the future. With that, I could not do a good job when I had to give demos to the customer. I went to see a psychologist, he prescribed medicine for me and he suggested that the medicine is just a helper. The only way to actually get away from the symptom is to practice, inspect and adapt. And it works, I stopped taking those medecine after for 4 weeks. Meanwhile, I tell myself that if anything is out of my control I don't worry about it. I spend times with my family so that I'm busy and don't have any time to worry about things. Reading is a really good activity that helps. Remember, medicine only helps to make you feel confident that you will be better. After I saw some good signs I could stop taking the medicine. :)

The clear steps I did are:

  1. I imagine how I want myourself to be. "I want to be a person who only thinks about how to plan ahead, not too much in details and don't worry too much about things in the future". My company builds software which is like managing complexity and risks. My boss is really good at this but he doesn't worry about things that are out of his control. I want be like that, dealing with difficult stuff but don't worry about it.

  2. When you find yourself worrying about things too much, you bring up the "how you want yourself to be" and take action! Do anything that leads you to #1.

  3. Share your goal with your loved ones. Whenever you worry too much let them know, they can help by talking or doing some activities (keep you busy from worrying)

I think you will be fine because you know yourself. Just aim and go for it. You might fail sometimes but you will finally find yourself helping other people out in the future.

I hope my story helps.

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Talking about worrying about the future, I recall a day in my high school 15 years ago. I forgot my homework and I know that I'm going to be punished for it. I kept worrying all day long. I can barely eat my lunch. I cannot focus on studying in any subject. It was a very long day. I pictured myself being beaten on my ass by a long stick again and again. I was so afraid. And by the end of the day, I was beaten on my ass by a long stick (just as I have pictured again and again but more vivid and more painful). After I was hit, the first thing I felt was a relief. The mind torturing I have done to myself all day long was finally over. I realized that it is a waste of time and energy to be thinking of an inevitable event. I was going to be punished by the teacher anyway, no need to punished myself more with self-mind-torturing.

After that day, when there is anything in the future worries me, I would think if there is anything I can do about it. If so, I would just note that action in my phone. If not, I would just ignore it. Let it comes and I would deal with the consequences.

I hope that what I have shared is useful to you. It might not suite you best. But I hope it worth you time reading it. Good luck! :)

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Re-focus. If you catch yourself falling into an old pattern, try something different. It's the catching that can be tricky (at least for me)–when you're used to something it can be upon you before you realize it.

I've found Pema Chödrön's advice about getting "hooked" valuable regarding things like this:

http://www.shambhala.org/teachers/pema/shenpa3a.php

I've also done "silly" things when I do realize it, even if it's well in to the behavior, for example, jumping on one leg while spinning in circles squawking like a chicken. A bit extreme, perhaps, but it turns catching negative behavior into both something of a game, and lightens the mood around it.

Obsessing about being obsessed is just transference and no more useful: notice your feeings. Acknowledge them–they exist, they happened: observe them. Then move on.

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How to stop worrying on small small issues?

imho, the best thing would be to go to a good shrink; fixing problems like this would make your life much happier

but, if you still want to tackle it yourself - here is a simple NLP trick which might be useful

every behavior (no matter how strange it looks) does have a very real and rational (from a certain point of view) reason; perhaps there is a reason for what you are doing? Many of such "reasons" are created at age of 5 or even before

try to identify when did you start to have that problem

lets say you were 8 years old

next, get the picture of yourself at that age and ask that boy - what possible benefits could he have by worrying on small small issues? Be patient, at some point you will get an answer (for example, the boy's father hated happy faces and the easiest way to live in that house for that boy was to always look worried and sad.

Now move yourself (as you are at your present age) into that picture and help that boy to deal with that problem without worrying on small small issues. If you succeed - the problem is solved.

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You have the first step down- you've realized what you're doing isn't right, and you want to fix it. The best thing you can do is catch yourself in the act of worrying about the future, and sidetrack yourself. Think about what you're physically doing at the moment, and just slow your thoughts down, and try to be more rational in your timeline. As you said, it feels as if you're just running and running. Just try to slow yourself down. However, if you can not bring yourself to do that, and this is really affecting you to the point of attacks, consider a psychologist.

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It may be that you suffer from GAD. It's common; for instance 2 % of Europeans do. The good news is that it can be successfully treated with Cognitive behavioral therapy. There are lots of self-help books.

Also, you might want to check out so-called Mindfulness meditation. It's an easy training technique that helps you stay focused, ignoring worries about the future.

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