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I have two really disturbing personalities which I need advice on shaking off. When I meet new people which by the way I am really good at. I either come off as being too friendly, in which case they mostly take advantage or I come off as too strict or detached in which case they think I'm too anti-social. How do I keep a balance between the two. Its really an issue because of this I am really struggling at my current work and life in general because of past experience. Thanks.

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up vote 2 down vote accepted

I'll try and answer this as general as possible, since your question is extremely vague. You don't need to come off as some dark figure, but you also don't need to be the peppy go lucky person people like. Or perhaps you could be that peppy-go-lucky person, but once people begin to 'walk all over you', you can become stern. Or maybe you could even pursue a more confident personality. Confident is always good.

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You may want to go through this since it's closely related.It might address some of your concerns and give some insights on other aspects of life.I have faced the same problem along with many others all my life.I'll end here as i'am hoping that the link might contain what you are looking for.

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I find this a good question since I had this issue, too.

Now I choose to be just formally friendly in the beginning and when the people I meet turn to be persons I really like and can trust, I give them more of my friendliness and generosity (I love making people happy, but not the way some just find me stupid for that).

I get to be wrong sometimes even now, but what matters in the end is to be still able to like myself (still have a self esteem, without being a bad person).

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Invent an imaginary person and simulate the usual protocol of meeting. Try to standarize the way you meet people, know the usual situations and how to act, what to say.

After some initial designed protocol, start implementing and refine it.

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