I always find it difficult to express love or affection towards my family members, friends, and people surrounding me.
When my sister was alone in a hostel crying, I found it difficult to say "Hey sister, don't worry I'm there to help you." Something is obstructing me to express my affection and take the first step.
When I had a fight with my friend, I cannot reconcile with him unless he calms down and turns positively towards me. But inside my heart, I always have the feeling of reconciliation.
I can't express myself, unless the other person starts first. Words don't come. I cannot take the first step, but feelings and emotions are aloft inside my heart. When the other person doesn't express affection, I too will not. When the other person doesn't reconcile after a fight, I too will not. I always feel sad, why should he/she take the first step instead of me?
This, I know, is ego. Very difficult to put it off. How can I balance it better? How can I take the first step and express my feelings?