I am aware Ego is a negative attribute and Self Respect is a positive attribute, but I am unable to differentiate them and hence cannot judge my actions. Below are some incidents :
I have a mentor at work to whom I report to and who is also a family friend and well wisher. One day he is giving feedback and talking about areas of improvement and some of the things in which I didn't perform well. Immediately, I started to defend myself and argue by giving reasons for my actions and lack of some skills.
I am unable to judge my actions here. What I am actually doing here? Am I trying to protect my self esteem? Or am I arguing since my ego has been hurt? I don't have clarity on this.
My wife and I are discussing about purchasing a new smart phone for her. We already have one which I am using. Besides, she is a home maker. We have a dedicated laptop with unlimited high speed internet connection. There are no specific benefits of having a new smart phone. I am not convinced with my wife's points and reasons. Hence, I said no for her request. And she is unable to agree with me and continued to push for it. Some time we have discussed on the matter. At one point of time I raised my voice and shouted at her.
Why I am shouted here? I have shouted because I have Ego and that was hurt when she doesn't agree with me? or some thing else?
[My objective for this post is not to get answers for the above questions from the community. The objective of this post is to find answers for the below questions. For a given situation I would like to able to find reasons for my behavior and correct my self. That is my intention. Hence I need to find answers for the below questions]
I always have these kinds of confusion and don't have clarity on the ego part.
My specific questions are :
- How to differentiate Ego from Self Respect?
- How to Kill Ego and protect Self Respect?
Explanation based on responses:
How this is linked to Productivity?
Ego and self respect are the ones which affect our social and personal relations. Healthy relations are very important to achieve success at workplace, social life and personal life. If we have Ego we will hurt others and spoil relations. If we don't protect our self respect we loose respect of others and that too spoil our relations. Hence I believe Killing Ego and protecting self respect are very important to achieve better productivity in relationships.