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At the reputable software company where I work, I have the following problem:

  1. Task estimations are carried out and I am asked to give the estimated time for tasks. What ever I give as my estimation, they don't take it. After estimation is done, my team mates make fun of me for estimation hours given by me.

  2. Manager does not listen to me. He asks every time why there is delay, if I don't complete task in time, and if I achieve in quick succession he asks me why have given wrong estimation of time.

  3. I cant escape from estimation meeting

  4. Not able to concentrate on work as every time team mates make fun of me.

  5. I don't want to leave company and run away as this indicates cowardliness and not facing it.

  6. I am in love with a girl in office and am not able to express my feelings to her

  7. Losing my patience and productivity is degrading

How do I solve these things, even though I try keeping calm. If I tell them with aggression, Manager screw me during hikes, team mates screw me saying you are negative person short tempered and again they will make fun of me. These issues are making me to worry a lot.

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closed as off-topic by Rory Alsop Jul 27 '13 at 9:37

  • This question does not appear to be about personal productivity within the scope defined in the help center.
If this question can be reworded to fit the rules in the help center, please edit the question.

I doubt your company is so "reputed", since it consists of obviously immature and egoistic people. – Tool Jul 26 '13 at 17:07

It sounds as if your team doesn't respect you. So the first order of business is to get that respect. Apparently your estimation skills do not seem to be at the level they want, so first let's fix that.

Start by keeping records, your estimate, the accepted estimate and the actual time the task took. Most people are poor estimators and you will probally see from these records that you are consitent in whether you estimate high or low. If you know you usually estimate 20% high, you can do the estimate and knock 15% off of it. If you have records, you can see what the last similar task actually took and use that as the satring point for estimating. Eventually it will start to get better.

Now another reason they might think your estimates are off is because you and they are not thinking at the same level of detail. Prepare your estimates in detail, make sure to include all non-development tasks that might need to happen (such as reseaach, communications, deployment, testing, writing documentation, etc.) Many people estimate incorrectly because they think only of the actual coding time. If your estimates seem to be right, then it isn't your estimates that are the problem, it is that your work is too slow. Then you need to improve your coding skills.

Now the next thing is the hard one. Go to your boss in a private meeting and tell him you are trying to improve your estimating and show him what you are planning to do. Ask him for help. Tell him that people are making fun of you and how much it is affecting your work. Making fun of someone is never acceptable in a professional environment. Ask him what specific steps you can take to help people view you better. This is all very difficult and what he has to say may feel very unkind. But you can't fix a problem without directly facing it.

Continue to keep your emotional feelings towards your female co-worker out of the office.

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Obvioulsy what you're doing isn't working and is making things worse. By getting visibly upset, you are reinforcing their bad behavior. Rigid software estimate requests are a good sign your manager is an idiot and has created a very poor work environment. Pick the first thing that comes to your head and just go with it. How can this be any worse? Spending more time trying to make the perfect estimate (Whatever that is.) is counter-productive. Relax. They're bullies. In America, I would suggest giving them the finger.

Change your mind-set about being a coward. Cultures may vary, but getting upset and yelling at people who say negative things about you is not going to make it stop. You can't punch them. It's in the open; your boss isn't going to make it stop. Don't wait until you get so mad, you do something you will regret.

You may need to leave, but before you do, ask this girl for a date. You get turned-down, good. It will toughen you up and get you one more step away from cowardice.

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Girl in office, don't do it. Just let it go, find another girl. Probably you are just affectionate, and really do not love her. Judging from all else you are writing. DO NOT MIX WORK WITH LOVE or something love like! It will get worse if you try and fail, and she will tell other people in office that you have tried, and belive me she will tell maybe not all but only one maybe, and this one will tell other one... Just don't please.

Other stuff, it is hard beeing ignored or laughed, but it is your decision, let it go or stay and try to work your "back" off to show that you are better. I'm now working in foreign country and it is a little bit similiar in this manner, nobody cares about what I have to say but I think it is only my problem to communicate more clearly to get on with all stuff and later it will be better.

So how long you are working there, if for half year then it is not bad things may change but if for 5 years then I would change the job.

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