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I've been watching Dexter and I've raised this question: will you be happier changing yourself to who you want to be, or just accept yourself for who you are?

Killing addictions may be a bit far-fetched in real life, so a more familiar scenario is pornography addiction. Many people have porn addictions. Many have tried to quit but failed many times. Many of those who have gone 'clean' for a while 'relapse'. And this can be frustrating.

Yes, freedom from porn addictions boasts many benefits. But the process of trying to quit can also stop you from being productive.

When would it better to control the urges and get it over with quickly and get on with the rest of the day, rather than try stop and be unproductive, but potentially be a better person.

Where is the point where it will reap more benefits in terms of happiness and productivity to accept yourself for who you are, rather than continuing to try to change yourself? Both have been shown to be a factor in determining happiness and productivity.

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closed as too broad by Raystafarian, Dennis S., Rory Alsop Feb 13 '14 at 22:02

There are either too many possible answers, or good answers would be too long for this format. Please add details to narrow the answer set or to isolate an issue that can be answered in a few paragraphs.If this question can be reworded to fit the rules in the help center, please edit the question.

Is this in terms of personal productivity or more in a psychological sense? This question is really very broad. – Raystafarian Feb 7 '14 at 15:12
This is not only too broad, it is off topic as per the faq – Rory Alsop Feb 13 '14 at 22:02

Happiness is a state of human being, it's not a permanent quality. Poor can be happy, rich can be happy, everyone can be happy.

Mainly happiness comes when one is in the flow state.

From wikipedia: Flow is the mental state of operation in which a person performing an activity is fully immersed in a feeling of energized focus, full involvement, and enjoyment in the process of the activity. In essence, flow is characterized by complete absorption in what one does. Proposed by Mihály Csíkszentmihályi, this positive psychology concept has been widely referenced across a variety of fields.

In order to come to this state both external and internal distractions (thoughts about porn, of guilt, etc.) should be totally removed from a brain otherwise it's not possible at all.

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I laud your answer, but have to think that in a flow state the sense of self falls away, and so there is no self experiencing the Happiness. Also, being in flow is transitory too, so I'm not sure if this answers the question of replaces it with an equally amorphous goal. – Allain Lalonde Feb 12 '14 at 16:47

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