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I had faced some failures in recent exam for a job which was very important to me.

I understood mistakes i made and learning to rectify it.I understood the causes of my failure.

Its very hard for me to forget it when people ask what happened to my exam.They don't demotivate me.But I feel very low about myself when i compare my situation with my friends.Sometimes i feel depressed.

How do you handle failures in life ?


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closed as off-topic by AsheeshR, Rory Alsop Apr 3 '14 at 20:22

  • This question does not appear to be about personal productivity within the scope defined in the help center.
If this question can be reworded to fit the rules in the help center, please edit the question.

This question appears to be off-topic because it is not about Productivity as per the faq – Rory Alsop Apr 3 '14 at 20:22

Maybe I should answer "How do I not handle failures in life".

We have the tendency to attribute missed goals/targets/opportunities as things that are wrong with ourselves. I 'am' this-or-that. That is not an empowering conclusion. The ironic thing is: it's you drawing that conclusion. Where are the real life facts in there?
There are none, it's just a judgment. That leaves you with the possibility to draw other conclusions.

Note that I am avoiding the term 'failure'. Maybe it's better to use the more neutral 'breakdown'. You set out to accomplish X, you did not accomplish X -> There is a breakdown. Next step is to analyze what was missing: what lead to the breakdown? What changes will lead to success next time?

At the same time you take responsibility for the breakdown: you can declare what was missing, if necessary apologize for not doing things, make new resolutions and do new promises for next time.

Note that you do exactly that in other areas of life. For example, you were playing a game of volleybal and missed the incoming ball because your position in the field could've been better. You notice that (or your coach does), maybe say 'Sorry guys I missed covering that corner,' and correct it for the next ball coming. There you may be perfectly able to leave the "I'm wrong" out of the conversation.
So why not try that in other areas of life?

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My suggestion

  1. Never ever ever compare yourself with anyone else. Most of us have a habit of comparing their condition to someone else close to them and this is the major cause of going deep down and committing another failure. Because you spend more time in calculating what others have and you don't.
  2. Step up to the Failure.
  3. Don't think too much. If thoughts stay prolong, try to break away your concentration from it by doing something you like or that can cheer you up e.g. Watch a sitcom
  4. Talk about your failure to someone real close to you. Some empathy is always helpful.

Some closing words from my shrink "Depression kills you before booze hits your brain". I'd say you also remember that.

Cheer Up!

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